have u ever been through the same old shit over and over and over again? and like u feel exhausted? like..youre angry at yourself, but youre angry at him too? ive come to the point where im fucking malas. and im just in a daze, with this lump in my throat. he once told me "my friends make me happy so thats my escape." my friends make me happy too but at the end of the day, he still has the power to make me the happiest. but i dont mean that much to him anymore. i feel so emotionless. literally. like if he dumps me now, ok. or if we continue like this, ok. i feel paralysed, like a vegetable. i dont have the freedom of speech with him like i used to 2 years ago. i am nothing but a bother, annoying and childish. im a girlfriend that doesnt feel like one. i have to think before i tell him how i feel. i have to go through my day with a heavy feeling in me, while he goes abt his day in laughter with everyone else but me. i really wanna run away without a trace without a word. call me dramatic. try going through what ive been through. try trying the best u can, gritting your teeth. try hearing upsetting things, but still totally take a step back. try wanting your boyfriend so much that it ends up "pushing him away". try being pushed away. try being his "girlfriend".