the last exhausting roadshow and i felt like a dirty, musty, oily mess after everything because: 1) the shirt is dry-fit & 2) haze + humidity = DEATH. i had to get out of the disgusting shirt so i changed and i felt so ugly, fat and frumpy in my outfit. and i was abt to cry because i felt so dirty and ugly at the same time that is the worst combination ever i swear. and david goes "girl, you look fine why are you about to cry" and i go "no im not!" but in my head "how u know" and now i am lying here exhausted but unable to fall asleep and im going for morning mass know. CHAM-PI-ONNNN.....

i was just thinking of fuzzy and decided to do these on paint cos they remind me of her..

and my heart keeps beating like a hammer says:
confucious or what
hahaha

hustle rose says:
that one my brother
elder brother
die alr

and my heart keeps beating like a hammer says:
oh is it?
poorthing were u sad

hustle rose says:
not really ah
wasnt getting enough attention from people
confucius took it all
during hari raya all
im like invisible to my family ah
no one wants to take pics with me

and my heart keeps beating like a hammer says:
HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU LA FINISH YOUR STORY NOT?

hustle rose says:
they only want confucius
KJHASKKDJASFDHSFKJHSDKAFJGSF
i feel like typing
cannot ah!
CHAO CHEEEEEE BAIIIIIIIII
hehheehe

and my heart keeps beating like a hammer says:
NABUEIIIIIIIIIIII

hustle rose says:
LANJIAOOOOOOOOOOO

"you may say im a dreamer. but im not the only one. i hope someday you will join us. and the world will live as one."

i did not blog about avalon but it was the most awesomest thing ever. i am still thinking about it! "majah lazah!" i showed my mum pics of flo rida and she goes "waaaahhh look at his tattoos..wahhhhh he's like buff but fat i liikeeee" ok mummy im sorry i couldnt bring back his sweat-soaked singlet for you.

i used to think snookie was the grossest female ever but now i think she is the cutest thing in the whole wide world because she walks like a toddler and shares the same obsession i have- Pickles. nice.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABEDABCDEFGHIJKLMEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

my hobby.... thats a rendang pastry by the way and it is fucking delicious as you can see by the greed in my eyes

stayed home the whole day because "im sick. -cough cough" "boo, you whore!" no but really..i woke up feeling like the whole inside of my face was filled with phlegm. so..i drowned myself in some family guy and started browsing through youtube and watched old mcr videos omg fucking nostalgic! reminded me of the times in sec 1-3 God dayumm i feel old. hmm still have a throbbing headache wonder if coffee with Charles tomorrow is still on.. it is 2.55am and i am hungry why the fuck am i always hungry at this time seriously i will soon have my own orbit around me like Peter Griffin just you wait and see

had a wonderful day with my girlz nory and winnie today.

anyway apart from that.. i felt so weird yesterday like i wasnt myself. like im miserable but im happy and then i feel like punching everyone and then i feel like giving everyone rainbows and hugs..and then you pop into my head and i feel like smashing my fist against the wall. and then i think about you, and i feel like smashing my fist against your face. and then i think of you and the angsty emotions disappear and i feel like im floating on a purple cotton candy cloud because u r mine 4ever.

we've been through way too much and lasted way too long despite everything to just throw everything away like it were trash. but somehow im so ready yet cant fathom the thought of not having you in my life at all. i dont want that. i just want you to realise. trust me ive realised my faults and flaws and you know that. i want you to grow up and open your eyes for there are far more important things in life and right now your priorities are really up your butthole and i cant take it anymore. it is so fucked up cuz i really see myself marrying you i really do but at the same time im thinking if you cant keep a simple promise and weigh the options of certain circumstances and make the right decisions for something that is literally hanging by a thread, how can i trust you with far more bigger things? i love you but you are ruining me slowly but surely when by right you are the one that is supposed to be piecing me back together when others break me. i love you but i hate you so much because u have the power to do that.

you have ruined me......................................................................................

4 more minutes to 5am guys. my hunger pangs have gotten worse. i realise i spelt disappointments incorrectly in my previous post..my sincere apologies. oh yes since im updating..again, i have to spread the joy and pride ive recently embraced for myself BECAUSE! ive been watching The Tudors! which is a series all about King Henry. im at season 3 now and i am very proud of myself because i never thought i'd adapt such an interest for King Henry. and today i am convinced my interest is genuine because i was flipping through cable and they were showing Elizabeth on hbo! (King Henry had Elizabeth with Anne Boelyn..yall probably know that alr but nvm let me sound knowledgable can thx) and i watched it and was actually rather captivated. and david goes: "ever since the stupid tudors youve been into all this old english history shit." why? nice what!

these few months have been filled with disappoinments and good times too. bangkok didnt happen, bintan didnt happen. but it might happen in september. BUT Avalon Day 1's gonna happen alrightttt! cant wait for that. and ive got a 4-day temp job gonna get $400 bucks for that. so eventually good things surfaced thank God cuz i thought i was gonna be stuck in that rut of disappointment for like..ever?! oh God its gonna be 5am in 14 minutes and im fucking hungry...i havent stepped on the weighing scale ever since i got sick and lost 2kg. not planning to step on it anytime soon at the rate ive been stuffing my face God dayum!

talking to tracy on the phone...i love her!

cant wait to go to Bangkok with fuz, kim and david. so is it like a rule that the females always have to arrange which days, flight and airline to take? haiz.. but excited nonetheless!

i still cant tell the difference between mary-kate and ashley..

it felt good staying home the whole day today. its good to have alone time. apart from watching Prozac Nation online, i sat and stoned, listening to the fan above me spin. it really is very comforting-the sound of the fan spinning. surfed the net a little and took pictures on my webcam and just did as i pleased. then i watched Year One, michael cera -droolzzz and then chillaxed with kim and fuz for a little while. it was a good day and i am very dependent on picasa..

the united states of depression -Prozac Nation

I wish I liked reading more..as in reading real books. I only like books which have a lot of like..dirt and stuff. Basically, bimbo stuff. I think I've only read like two serious books in my life. Yakuza moon and that about a boy series. Lost boy? Hmm..I know the last book is a man named Dave or smth. Ok so anyway yakuza moon has a lot of dirt in it and I literally cried and was paralyzed for a moment or two when I read the part abt Dave accidentally being stabbed by a knife because his mum hurled it at him. Oh god I'm cringing just thinking abt it.. Well, since we're on the topic, I think david would write quite an interesting book based on his theories on heaven and hell. and btw, I hate harry potter I didn't even finish the first book. The only series I read faithfully and finished is the twilight saga. not even the man named dave one david lent me the thick book with all three books in it but I didn't even finish the second book...

ok so here i am munching on m&ms at 12am. today i am happy because david bought me $16 worth of sushi and now i am enjoying an episode of The Nanny with my mummy. hmm..i feel like reading another Katie Price bimbo book. i hate reading..like READING reading. i only like bimbo reading.. dont judge me